On the tube: Week 3

I'll be listening more than watching this weekend -- will be in the kitchen most of the day Saturday pulling a dinner party together. (I know, I know...a man of many talents.) But it's a really, really intriguing week ahead. Seriously.

Best warmup of the bunch: Friday night's game, Kansas at South Florida. (7 p.m., ESPN2) Most definitely the toughest game in the Jayhawks' nonconference schedule. (They're 2-0 after killing Florida International and LaTech.) If Kansas wins this one, I'll stop grumbling every time I think about them. But don't worry: All talk of Kansas will be done after Oct. 18, after a potentially tough home game against Colorado and a sure loss at Oklahoma.

In-state rivalry of the week: It's a morning game, but Iowa State at Iowa could be interesting for a quarter or two as you finish your third cup of coffee. As long as you have the Big 10 network. Just hoping ESPN2 can be convinced to drop the lameness that will be Florida Atlantic-Michigan State.

Stormy weather: Hurricane Ike could affect Arkansas at Texas. (2:30 p.m., ABC) Which, of course, is great news for the Hogs -- anything that keeps them from getting destroyed by the Horns on network TV is a blessing.

Don't penalize me, bro: Late-game goofing off cost Washington last week. The Bruins eked one out against Tennessee in Week 1. Brigham Young is holding on to its BCS hopes by a thread. But it's questionable whether the Cougars can go 2-0 against the Pac 10 as UCLA heads to BYU (2:30 p.m., Versus).

Kill them off, already: Ohio State is to the BCS what zombies are to B-movies. They rise in power through the season, eating weaklings for breakfast. Somebody finally knocks them off, but they somehow manage to come back from the polling dead to end up in the final scene of the season. Before, of course, some heroic SEC team slaughters the Buckeyes. But....OSU visits USC (7 p.m., ABC), so I'll be raising a glass to the Trojans as they hopefully end the Big Ten's chances at another title game appearance.

The rest:
NC State at Clemson (11 a.m., ESPN Gameplan): First, the good news. An ACC team is guaranteed a win. Now the bad: An ACC team is guaranteed another loss.
Washington State at Baylor (11:30 a.m., FSN): Two bad teams don't make for a good game.
Georgia at South Carolina (2:30 p.m., CBS): Because the SEC is just fun.
Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech (2:30 p.m., ABC/ESPN/ESPN Gameplan): Once again, the ACC definitely gets a "W."
Michigan at Notre Dame (2:30 p.m. NBC): Tune in during ABC/Fox/ESPN commercial breaks to see two teams in the act of rebuilding.
Penn State at Syracuse (2:30 p.m., ABC): Just gonna be ugly.
SMU at Texas Tech (6 p.m., Fox Sports Southwest): Why, exactly, is this being televised? Oh, yeah -- because we could see some serious demolition of all kinds of offensive records. The pain, the pain...
Oklahoma at Washington (6:45 p.m., ESPN): This is more the Sooners against the Pac 10 officiating crew than anything.
Wisconsin at Fresno State (9:30 p.m., ESPN2): The Bulldogs are the toughest opponent the No. 10 Badgers have faced so far. Could be worthy of staying up late.

Finally, a new feature: What's not on that should be.
This week, my Conference USA bias comes out, but I nominate East Carolina at Tulane, at 2 p.m. The Pirates blew out West Virginia last weekend, but everybody (including Ted) is waiting to see which C-USA team will dash BCS hopes in Skip Holtz Land. Could be the Green Wave. (A more likely candidate, though, is Central Florida on Nov. 2.)