I'll teach you, ref... Hiyyahh!

Non Football Thought:

In case you haven't seen this already, a Cuban taekwondo competitor at the Beijing Olympics absolutely laid out a referee with a roundhouse after he was DQ'd during a match. The outrageous AFP/Getty Images photo is above. Man, talk about getting ejected with a bang. If you're going to go searching for a lifetime ban from the sport, might as well go out Chuck Norris style. Oh, the competitor also spat on the floor before he left the arena. I hope you're watching Lou Pinella.

Wake My Forest.

Finally, my sleeper team of the year, Wake Forest, is getting some dark horse lovin'. This team returns 16 starters and, in my view, will challenge Clemson for ACC supremacy in the Atlantic Division. Of course, not that anyone really cares. With a football tradition spanning zero years and an enrollment the size of my pinky, Wake might as well fall in a forest and no one would know.

Upstaged by a Mechanical Shark.

Matt Ryan, you're great, man. As former BC Eagles, we're practically family (if you don't count the fact that I'm Asian and he's pretty much the furthest thing from Asian). But you've got a long, long, long way to go before you start earning that $70-mil plus, as well as the love of Georgia. The new Falcons QB is starting his first preseason game tonight, but you won't see it on television live in Metro Atlanta.

Instead, WATL, the flagship Falcons station, will be showing "Jaws: The Revenge," according to the AJC. (In case you're mixing up your Jaws movies, that's the one when the banana boat gets it.) Personally, I'd probably choose man-eating sharks over the NFL preseason myself. But, garn, the sequel to the sequel to the sequel of Jaws? Oh Matty. Good luck winning over that market.

U.S. News: You probably went to a safety school!

Quasi Non Football Thought:

U.S. News and World Report has its annual snootie, tootie ranking of best colleges. It's Harvard-Princeton-Yale for Nos. 1, 2 and 3. No surprise there, unless you're counting the shocking absence of Collin County Community College in Plano, Tx. My neatly-coiffed alma mater, Boston College, is ranked No. 34 despite costing nearly a base model C-Class per semester. Arch football rival Notre Dame is ranked No. 18. I haven't put quite the effort into sizing up the schools as U.S. News has, but the two seem pretty much the same to me. Clearly, though, the survey did not take into account "industrial podunkedness" versus "Boston" as far as quality of life goes. No offense to the great state of Indiana and to the good people of the Industrial Belt, but South Bend is to Boston what a box of raisins is to Sonoma.

Daniel "I Could Purchase Your Newspaper With Pocket Change" Snyder

Read about how Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins, goes off the hizz on the Washington Post (again). Basically, he trashes the Post for its balanced and dogged coverage. But he really turns the knife by talking about the demise of newspapers. Circulation and ad declines. The Post is scaring up readership and controversy. Yada, yada. It's the kind of confrontational media rant that simultaneously makes me laugh and cry.

I thought she was 26...

Non Football Thought:
New reports are surfacing that gold medal Chinese gymnast He Kexin might actually be 14 instead of the required 16. Given this photo from Getty Images, was there really any doubt that this young girl, talented though she may be, was born well after Pearl Jam first hit the airwaves? It's probably safe to say that, given his reportedly gargantuan diet, Michael Phelps probably eats two He Kexin's for breakfast everyday (as well as a five-egg omelet.)

Please, please dominate me.

Non Football Thought:

The U.S. beats Brazil in soccer. Japan beats the U.S. in softball. The favored U.S. men drop the baton in the relays. The favored U.S. women do the same thing. The U.S. sweeps the 400 meters, but favorite Jeremy Wariner comes in second.

What ever happened to good old fashioned Olympic predictability? Outside of the occasional quasi-jingoistic feel-good upset --- U.S. beats Russia in ice hockey; 65-year-old German gymnast wins silver, yada yada --- my theory is people love dominance and inevitability in Olympic sports. See: Michael Phelps.

Olympic sports are obscure enough. (It took me a Google search to figure out that the “200-fly” meant 200-meter butterfly.) But when Unknown Athlete X beats Phelps, it’s a total bummer.

Don’t ask me why, but put the hated New York Yankees in a pool in swimming trunks and all of a sudden LeBron and Kobe are in the stands cheering you on. Put Phelps in a New England Patriots jersey and suddenly you're a cheating Satan in a helmet.

An emotional two-week extravaganza that flames out quickly after its conclusion, the Olympics might be the ultimate bandwagon event.

A "Q" Tip. Har.

This tip passed on from colleague Erik Rodriguez: The Texas Longhorns are experimenting this year with a two quarterback formation. That's right, two QBs in the backfield. It's called Texas's "Q Formation." I guess that's what happens when you have, like, six five-star recruits vying for signal caller.

Computers are the darndest things.

Nary a snap has been played, yet Jeff Sagarin, he of computer polling fame (and an Indiana resident, I might add), has already computed that USC is No. 1 in 2008. The rankings can't be all that bad. It has my alma mater, Boston College, ranked No. 18. Um, sure they are. Absolutely.

Redemption for Ricky?

Ever since I spotted Ricky Williams cruising down the UT Drag, Rastafarian-style, in his Hummer during the NFL off-season in Austin, I knew he danced to the beat of a different drummer. Now comes word that the Rickster
has emerged as the Dolphins' No. 1 back during training camp. I'll believe it when I see The Tuna pose for a magazine cover like the one you see to the right.

A sneeze shy of naked...

Non Football Thought:

I'm no fashionista, but did the skimpy/semi-translucent outfits of the United States give pause to anyone watching the gold medal match for Women's Beach Volleyball? The U.S. played China and won. Perhaps more importantly, U.S. players Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor spurred a national discussion of whether all women's beach volleyball matches should henceforth be played in a torrential downpour with 95 percent humidity.

New York's new color: Orange.

In an attempt to rebrand itself and expand its marketing base, Syracuse is tagging itself as "New York's College Team." As a former resident of the Tri-State area, I can assure you that Syracuse, which I still root for in a fetishistic kind of way because they play in a cool dome, is most definitely not "New York's Team." Truth is, New York doesn't have a college team, unless you count the Jets, which is kind of like a minor league football team, Brett Favre aside. Maybe there are stats that show otherwise. But given that the 'Cuse is some 250 miles away from NYC and 150 miles from Buffalo, I'd say that Syracuse is, well, Syracuse's team. As for Syracuse's chances this year? Hmmm. Given that they have posted a 7-28 record over the past three seasons, I'd say their chances of winning the Big East conference this year are, oh, roughly zero percent.

Duke? A Top 25 recruiting class? Surely you jest...

We jest not. The Blue Devils, led by new coach David Cutcliffe, is working on a possible top class for 2009. The school already has landed 22 recruits, according to Rivals.com, including two four-star guys and seven three-star players. Great, just what the ACC needs: Another 7-5-ish team.

Oh, Playboy... What games are you watching?

So Playboy's new Top 25 college football poll is out. They pick Oklahoma No. 1, followed by Ohio State and Florida. Fair enough. Those teams aside, the magazine has got some real, um, winning predictions. Among them: Georgia Tech at No. 25 (Picked by ACC beat writers to battle Duke for title of conference doormat this year); Utah at No. 16 (um, hello? Are we talking about the Utes or the Jazz?); and, of course, Missouri at No. 4 (ahead of USC, Georgia and LSU. Which team would you pick in those matchups?) Look, I love Playboy as an institution as much as the next guy, but that's one crack-baby of a poll if you ask me.

"Michael Phelps" Illustrated.

Non Football Thought:

For the third time in four weeks, Michael Phelps graces the cover of Sports Illustrated. "I'm at a loss for words," Mr. Phelps said. Just wait until he goes for 29 golds in London.

ESPN's College Gameday kicks off in Atlanta.

We're getting real close now. The World's favorite college pregame show will kick off the new season on Sat., Aug. 30 in Atlanta in a nod to Clemson v. Alabama.

A good game on paper, although wouldn't it be great if we all found out how overrated the Clemson Tigers are... in August?

Scaling the Mountain...

Consider Appalachian State the reverse Kansas. Perhaps in a bid to capitalize on their upset of Michigan last year, the Mountaineers have scheduled some sick non-conference away games in the coming years. It begins this season with a date at LSU. In 2010, App State plays at Florida; at Virginia Tech in 2011; then at Georgia in 2013. Now that's pain in a bottle. Kudos.

Jayhawks love creamy puffs...

The Kansas Jayhawks, supposedly a pillar of strength in the Big 12 following a breakthrough season, have a really tough non-conference schedule this year. Hurdles include home dates with, ahem, perennial powers Florida International, Louisiana Tech and Sam Houston State (that would be the SHS Bearkats, in case you're wondering). It hearkens back to the Bill Snyder days at Kansas State when Coach filled up on creampuffs only to lose to Nebraska 50-3 every November. Prediction: KU goes 5-1 in its first six, then 2-4 in its next six.

The "Three Fans" themselves...

In honor of the start of the season, we look back at the last game we all saw together: the Cotton Bowl.

Come to think of it, it's a little scary just how warm it was that day in January.

Pass, pass, pass, run, pass, pass...

Less than two weeks before the opener, the coveted (har) job of starting running back for Texas Tech is still up for grabs. The race is between two sophomores with barely any snaps and a senior with attitude problems. I'm no expert, but maybe Coach Mike Leach should just abandon the run altogether and save those roster spots for extra receivers.

Are you ready for some Prozac?

Just finished a highly entertaining book I wish I had written, A Few Seconds of Panic by the WSJ's Stefan Fatsis. For the first time since George Plimpton embedded with the Lions in 1963, an NFL team allowed a writer to join a team for training camp. Fatsis suited up for the Broncos as a kicker. That's obviously not the most exciting position to read about -- getting his bell rung by John Lynch while running a post pattern would have made for more drama. But Fatsis steps outside his realm of finicky kickers often enough to deliver plenty of X's and O's, some startlingly blunt interviews with players, coaches and front-office types and, most interestingly, provides a peek into the players' psyche:

The modern NFL player craves what we all crave: to be understood ... They are athletes, cocky and confident, at least outwardly. But the Broncos did want to be seen as more than the characters in the NFL video games they themselves play. They wanted me to understand that football is manic-depressive. The game itself is a fun, thrilling, scary, addictive turn-on: Sunday! The rest of the job is a largely joyless, stultifying, demoralizing, infantilizing, breakdown-inducing drag: Wednesday.

Two roads diverged in a wood...

One of this year's Heisman hopefuls, Chase Daniel, has got big expectations this year. The prospects of failure, however, are high.

One thing Mr. Daniel can fall back on should he fail in his quest for a national title: his startling resemblance to George Wendt of Cheers fame. Will Mr. Daniel be an All American or a barfly at year's end? Only time will tell.

Fear the turtl... I mean, the Jacks...

A follow up to our previous blogpost on the South Dakota State slash Iowa State battle that Fox Sports has graciously agreed to broadcast on college football's opening Thursday.

Who the heck is South Dakota State? Quite simply, they are the Jackrabbits. That's right, an animal that probably has never been seen on the South Dakota prairie ever. Watch out Iowa State!

So right and so wrong...

With the preseason AP poll now out as Jake had mentioned, a few thoughts come to mind:


AP voters have it right: Florida (No. 5) getting more votes than defending national champions LSU (No. 7). LSU is talented as usual, but basically has no experience outside of its head coach this year.

AP voters are mostly right: Putting Georgia at No. 1. I don't think any of us will disagree that Georgia's sickly awesome this year. But, then again, all of those expectations are a hard thing to manage. They get this high ranking, in large part, because of their decapitation of Colt Brennan slash Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl.

How impressive is that... really? (I did see the eighth-string Mr. Brennan throw some fine slant patterns in the fourth quarter of the Redskins' preseason game the other day.) We'll find out.

AP voters will be surprised: I think the success of "other votes" mainstays, Michigan State, Fresno State, Utah and Wake Forest are going to shake up the poll. (One of the keys to the success of the Utes and Wake? Experience. All of Wake's guys are red-shirted their freshman year and everyone on Utah, because of the Mormon mission thing, is, like 38.)

AP voters are mostly wrong: Penn State at No. 22. Late-period Joe Pa essentially guarantees this: 7-5, the Alamo Bowl and, apparently a ranking the following year. How Penn State continues to sneak into the preseason polls despite being the poster child of Big Ten mediocrity is baffling.

AP voters are smoking crack: Texas Tech at No. 12, Clemson at No. 9, and, of course, Missouri at No. 6. One more thing, I hate Notre Dame as much as the next guy. But for a team to land the second-best recruiting class and return its QB and many other starters this year and get only two votes in the poll is lame. I still think they are the Yankees of football, but Notre Dame is going to be much better this year. Mark my words.

Defense? What's that?

A DMN piece today on SMU's new defensive coordinator Tom Mason describes how the Mustangs hope to use a high-risk, high-reward defensive scheme this year. Says Mr. Mason, "If we give one up, that's the way it goes." Hmmm. Sounds like a recipe for, er, success.

A loss for words...

Non Football Thought:

Michael Phelps, obviously, gets props for his amazing eight-medal feat. But if I have to hear him say, "I'm at a loss for words," one more time in a post-race interview, I'm gonna punch my television.

You're a superstar, Michael. You're Tiger Woods and Barack Obama combined right now. You could run for president or date any model in the world. String some sentences together and let's do this thing. Garn.