Hanna hankering for bangers 'n mash...

Non Football Thought:

Storm tracking has come a long way... Have you ever seen a forecast that tracks a storm all the way from South Carolina to the Cliffs of Dover? Now that's a forecast. Take notes Fox 4. I don't just want to know tomorrow's high temperature. I want to know whether the rain that lands here will eventually land in Beijing, as well. The Weather Channel: "In about 13 days from now, we expect the eye wall to be over Bono's castle."

Fan on the scene

Because we just can't give you enough SMU coverage on this here blog, I'll be reporting back Saturday night on my Ford Stadium experience during the SMU-Texas State game. Will be perched above the 25 yard line, behind the home bench.

SMU home game highlights:

• The Boulevard. It's got free beer and barbecue.
• The stadium. Not a bad seat in the house, though it's only got 32,000 of them.
• The band. Dubbed the "Hub of SMU Spirit," the SMU Mustang Band is one of a kind. It's played a jazz style since the 1920s, and its arrangements are actually pretty fun. The best pieces, though, are the originals -- "Shanty Town," "Dial 'M' for Mustang," etc. Oh -- and they do a uniform change just before halftime.

Downsides:

• The fans. Get there during the second quarter, leave early in the fourth. And there are often more from the visiting team than there are on the home side.
• The lame ways they try to rev up the crowd. Every time I hear "It's time for some THIRD DOWN THUNDER!!" I get a little sick to my stomach.
• My seats. It's so much more fun in the student section, rather than on the home side of the field.

Crystal Ball Part II: Sizing up Saturday...

The weekend is upon us and the Crystal Ball has some predictions to make:

Washington gives BYU a run for its money, but loses.

Cincinnati keeps it close against Oklahoma... in the first half.

Florida absolutely crushes Miami in the Swamp, sinking the ACC even lower than it already is. Gator Percy Harvin runs buck wild.

Stanford keeps things competitive but ultimately loses against Jake's boys from Arizona State.

Bowling Green beats Minnesota and skirts the Top 25.

Wake Forest, its misdirection plays neutralized by SEC speed, nevertheless squeaks one out at home against Ole Miss.

Texas Tech plays a closer than expected one at Nevada.

Ian's gang SMU rebounds and runs up the score June Jones-style against Texas State.

Crystal Ball: The Giants are a one hit wonder...

NFL Thought:

As a proud former New Jerseyan, I'm all for NYC, the Manning family, the Meadowlands, yada yada yada. But, I'm sorry: To say that the New York Giants are anything but a playoff flash-in-the-pan is foolish. They are Menudo in pads. The Colorado Rockies of football. Michael Phelps in about 15 minutes from now. Sure, they may beat the Washington Redskins tomorrow in the NFL opener tomorrow. But is that because the Giants are destined to repeat? Or is it because Danny Snyder's team is destined, yet again, for 7-9ish?

No D-Line. No more sneaking up on people. No Manning karma.

You heard it here first from The Crystal Ball: The Giants don't make the playoffs this year.

Nintendo Stat of Week One.

Total yards: Arizona 521, Idaho 112.

Poor Idaho. It's been downhill for the state since the first settlers dug up golden russet potatoes all those many years ago.

Rankings Review, Sept. 2...

New AP and Coaches' rankings are out and USC is now No. 1, presumably because they won more impressively than previous No. 1 Georgia did. I can't blame pollsters, though. USC looked absolutely off the hizz against Virginia on Saturday, while Georgia won at home against (Insert Name of Week One Cupcake School Here).

A few other things to note:

Clemson fell off a cliff in the AP poll --- from No. 9 to that Island of Misfit Toys: "others receiving votes." Ouch, as in rip-off-a-Band-Aid ouch.

The younger-than-my-little-sister Mountain West Conference has more teams in the Top 25 (2) than the, ahem, Atlantic Coast Conference (1). Double ouch.

The Coaches were impressed with Oregon's evisceration (read: disembowelment) of Ty Will's Washington Huskies as the Ducks moved up to No. 16 from No. 21. I was impressed, too. Duck Fans: Long live your loud and structurally lopsided stadium.

Four of the Top 10 teams are from the Southeastern Conference, which as of right now is the anti-ACC, which is to say the conference actually wins non-conference games. If the SEC gets any better, they'll have to rename it the NFC West.

Some pollsters were apparently high on glue fumes when they cast ballots in the preseason. In the AP poll, Hawaii garnered one vote (They lost to Florida by 46). In the Coaches' poll, Texas A&M received three votes (They were eaten alive, digested and then spit out by the Arkansas State Red Wolves); Louisville got two votes (They have done absolutely nothing special since, oh, 2006-ish).

Remarkably, Virginia, which looked like a Kermit-the-Frog-without-the-puppeteer rag doll against USC, got 12 votes (12!) Riddle me this, what did Virginia do in pads this summer that signaled to pollsters, "Boy, this team has a chance to beat the Trojans?" Who is voting in these polls? The beat writer for the Charlottesville Is Awesome Times?

Regardless of their flaws, I love polls. Let's rank everything, I say: Coffee drinks. Hair pieces. Cough syrup quality. In fact, someone could rank grass seed and people would be fascinated (My vote, while we're on the topic, would be Scott's Pure Premium Fenway Fescue).

On the tube: Sept. 6 edition

The weekend warmup includes South Carolina at Vandy on Thursday (yawn), and Navy at Ball State on Friday (yawn). Watch that Navy game if you're a fan of the triple option. (Yawn.)

Saturday morning at the Kim house: Ted's bound to be putting that ESPN Gameplan to use, as Georgia Tech heads to Boston College. Again with the option.

Possible dark horse? My day really won't get started until the early-afternoon BYU-Washington game. You've heard it before, but Brigham Young is going to be a team to watch. Some stumbles against I-AA Northern Iowa last week, but the boys from Utah will get it together. If the Mountain West has a chance to break into the BCS, it'll be with BYU.

Listen closely: East Carolina seems to be doing its best to improve the Conference USA strength of schedule -- a win this past weekend over Virginia Tech helps, and then there's Saturday's matchup against West Virginia. Quirky note on this game: It's at East Carolina, so keep your ears open for the stadium background noise. The pirate cannon will be firing, and to rev up the crowd, the announcer dude lets out a big "Arrrrrrrrgggg!" every now and then. The ESPN crew is going to be in stitches.

Because you'd be dumb to miss it: Miami-Florida. Duh.

No need for that Ambien: Texas at UTEP at 9:15 instead. Yet another early-season dud.

Other games on deck:
--Mizzou hosts Southeast Missouri State. Way to challenge Kansas for the cushiest schedule in the Big 12, guys.
--Rice at Memphis. The Owls play an actual, real football team this week.

Bitter loyalty

The entire watch party at Ted's abode Friday night was shocked -- shocked! -- by how easily I stomached SMU's utter failure on both sides of the field. I wasn't wallowing in misery, as a friend and Aggie fan was this weekend after she stood at Kyle Field (they don't sit there, you know) and watched Texas A&M lose to Arkansas State.

No question about the difference here: It's all about history.

SMU fans are a long-suffering group, and I'm not even talking about our little "incident" back in the 80s. Winless and countless 1-11 seasons, the tradition of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, 20 rebuilding years in a row. Sure, it's an abusive relationship, plagued by disappointment after disappointment. But he tells me he's sorry, so it's love, right?

On the other hand, A&M (and Texas and UCLA and countless others) have winning traditions. Sure, many may only be 7-5 years, but by my count, that's a winning record. Not gonna get you a conference championship, and they may land you in the North Dakota Bowl. So when your team posts 14 points against a Sun Belt Conference school, you're going to grumble angrily when people ask you how the game went. To a team with a losing tradition -- hello, Baylor -- even 6-6 is a relief. If Mack Brown or Pete Carroll only managed a 6-win season, they'd be handed their walking papers immediately.

To close, here's a quick analysis of the SMU-Rice blowout: Poor execution, but there's already been tremendous change on the Hilltop. The offense for the most part looked like an offense. June and Bo came out gunning. There was an aggressive hunger that has been missing from the field. What's left to work on? Defense, defense, defense. That scheme they were running -- don't really know how to describe it -- just looked scattered and unfocused. And it was disappointing to see Thomas Morestead break his school-record streak of 78 successful PATs.

But Friday night's game was the first real test of the gamble June Jones took with naming a true freshman as a quarterback and trying to clean up the recruiting mess that Phil Bennett left behind. June, you're not completely wrong when you say you need to go back to the drawing board. Still, I saw more promise on Friday than I have in any of the 12 previous season openers I've watched. And it's refreshing to be able to watch a game and to see some coherence on at least one end of the field. That makes every one of the gazillions of dollars being thrown at June and crew worthwhile.

And that's why I, a loyal Mustang, was at least a little proud of my guys Friday night. Go Red, go Blue, go Mustangs, S-M-U.

Pac-10 Potpourri

Cue Dre and Tupac for a new weekly feature: Pac-10 Potpourri, wherein I offer random meditations on "how we do it on this West Side / Cuz you and I know it's tha best side ..."

Watch out for UCLA. The Bruins had no business beating Tennessee on Labor Day after QB Kevin Craft threw four INTs in the first half, including a soul-crushing pick six to end the half. But the UCLA defense stifled the Vols all night long, and the Jedi Master tag-team duo of Slick Rick and Norm Chow somehow brainwashed Craft at halftime and convinced him that he was Johnny Unitas.

Don't be fooled by Oregon. Sure, they came out and whipped the hapless Huskies in front of the Autzen faithful. But QB Justin Roper (especially when woozy, like he was Saturday) is no Dennis Dixon, and don't forget that the Ducks folded like an organic, multigrain tortilla last season when their inspirational leader got hurt.

Jury's out on ASU. The Devils had a workmanlike 30-13 victory over Northern Arizona in what amounted to a preseason game. Rudy and the offense tore it up for two and a half quarters before Erickson pulled his starters and gave a boatload of freshmen what may be their only playing time of the season. Instead of the usual early September lineup of directional schools, ASU takes on Stanford next week for its earliest Pac-10 opener I can recall. Harbaugh and Co. aren't exactly Georgia, but the Cardinal will be ASU's toughest test before the epic matchup vs. the Bulldogs on Sept. 20.

In Focus: Why Texas A&M should be worried...

I wouldn't get too comfortable, Mike.

Mike Sherman had an inauspicious debut as coach of the Aggies when he lost what appeared on paper to be a cupcake game: the Arkansas State Red Wolves (I had no idea there were such things as red wolves, let alone red wolves in Arkansas, but I digress...)

As we all know, upsets happen all the time in college football. But it is the way that A&M lost that should be noted. The Wolves outscored the Aggies in the second half 15-0. The Wolves also had more first downs (23 to 15), more total yards (415 to 303), more rushing yards (255 to 133), more time of possession (33:21 to 26:39) and far fewer turnovers (one versus four for A&M).

In short, not only was Arkansas State competitive, but they pretty much had the upper hand. And all of this despite playing on the road with 78,000 hostile "12th men" breathing down their necks.

Now, I'm no Lee Corso, but if Texas A&M is getting dominated in the trenches by Arkansas State, imagine what the future opponents of the Aggies will be able to do. Those future opponents? No less than Miami (Fla.), Texas Tech, Colorado, Oklahoma and Texas.

Hmmm... Are the Atlanta Falcons still hiring coordinators?

Buy me and sell me...

The first weekend of college football is drawing to a close (not counting a few random-ass Monday games...) So, it's time to play a little stock market college football style.

Time to buy:

• Chase Daniel. He's not my favorite person in the universe, or even in the Milky Way for that matter, but the Mizzou QB sure knows how to put together a touchdown drive. Thank god we're all taller than he is.


• The Mountain West Conference. The conference may have the most bush-league-production-values cable channel I've ever seen (The Mtn., channel 616 on DirecTV, if your clicker goes that high), but boy does it have some gamers this year. BYU, Utah and TCU can actually compete with slightly-better-than-mediocre Big Schools like Michigan. Heck, even the Wyoming Cowboys, with their snazzed out Black-Eyed Susan uniforms, scraped one out against Ohio 21-20 this weekend.


• USC. Freaks of nature, as in amphibious freaky, as in if Michael Phelps was a college football team and the Pac 10 was the 200 'Fly freaky. I reached this conclusion following their utter blendering of Virginia. Rooting for the Trojans is like rooting for yourself in Madden when you're the Patriots and you're playing your younger sister on the "novice" setting.
• LSU's defense. Speaking of beating up your younger sister: Despite losing, like, 200 players to the NFL, the Tiger D pretty much breakdanced on the grave of Appalachian State in Saturday's Pre-Contraflow Bowl.

Time to sell:

• The entire Atlantic Coast Conference, with the exception of Wake Forest and Boston College. For me, a BC alum, the ACC is pretty much the anti-Chase-Daniel: I love it, but it just doesn't perform regardless of how much undeserved Lee-Corso-fed hype it gets. The conference loses four marquee games, topped by Clemson's mutilation at the scissorhands of Alabama's defense. I think we all knew Clemson was the Jayson Blair of college football, but it's revealed even before the first of September? C'mon, Tommy B. Where's the mystery?


• Mike Sherman and Tyrone Willingham. Good luck bringing that welcome basket to Aggieland following Texas A&M's pathetic loss to Arkansas State, Mr. Sherman. Pa - the - tic. Maybe it was all those distracting chants from those Chinese-Army-like Yell Leaders. As for Ty Will of Washington? You say the right things, exude class and can strike a stoic pose for Sports Illustrated any time. The only things you can't do, it seems, is recruit and win in college football.


• Louisville. Oh Bobby "The Drifter" P: Where have you gone? Some crying eyes in The 'Ville (and the second floor of the Mondrian apartments in Uptown Dallas) following a Jim Sorgi-during-preseason-esque performance against in-state rival Kentucky on Sunday. It's not all bad, tho'. I recall seeing 'Ville QB Hunter Cantwell throw a dandy flanker screen on, like, the second snap of the game. Sadly, it was all downhill from there.

What I learned by watching television...

What I Learned by Watching Television (Special abbreviated Hurricane Edition):

Blogging from Huntsville, Texas, where I am stationed for hurricane purposes. Yet I could not let a Sunday pass without offering some insights about college football's first Saturday...

The ACC stinks yet again. East Carolina beats Virginia Tech by jujitsuing Tech with a punt block. USC destroys Virginia. Media Darling Clemson lays an egg with the Gameday guys watching. Maryland squeaks by Delaware. North Carolina squeaks by McNeese State. Somebody give this conference a tourniquet.

I agree with Jake: USC is ridiculously awesome. 52-7 in Charlottesville, the resting place of Tommy Jefferson, despite Virginia having schemed for this game for two years.

Missouri will not win the Big 12. Not with just offense. They're good. But you're not going to beat Oklahoma, Texas and even Nebraska by giving up six touchdowns, like they did against Illinois on a neutral field.

Joe Paterno wants to go out with a bang. Why else would Joe Pa score 28 second half points against lowly Coastal Carolina to break 60 enroute to a 66-10 demolition? Where's the class, Jo Jo?

Overrated: Clemson, Texas A&M, Virginia Tech, South Carolina.

Underrated: Oregon, California, Georgia Tech, Alabama, Duke, TCU, Boise State.

Fine Five: USC, Ohio State, Florida, LSU, Oklahoma.