Buy me, sell me.

The stock market is sooo whack these days, but it still ain't as whack as college football.

Time to buy:

Notre Dame. I hate them as much as you do and the QB may have a mullet. But with games coming up against Michigan State, Purdue and Stanford, I like the Irish's chances to be undefeated heading into an October showdown with surprisingly-good North Carolina. Hopefully, we won't all have to stomach another Sports Illustrated-Notre Dame cover by the time late-October rolls around.

Big 12. With last week's Pac-10 struggles, the Big 12 and its stable of solid teams may be the second deepest next to the SEC.

Joe McKnight. Time to jump on the bandwagon before it gets too crowded. It's only a matter of time before the dynamic USC RB (a sophomore!) starts getting mentions for the Heisman.

Georgia. With all due respect to our man Jake, I think Georgia does a woodshed job on Arizona State and reestablishes itself among the elite. The longer the season progresses, the more Georgia's excellent run/pass balance will come in handy. (I will, of course, be rooting for Arizona State.)

Former Arkansas brethren RBs Darren McFadden and Felix Jones. Yes, I put Mr. McFadden, now a Raider, on my "sell" list last week. But on Saturday he looked like a different runner and slashed through the Chiefs for 164 yards on 21 carries. Jones of the Cowboys, meanwhile, torched the Iggles for an ungodly amount of kick return yards. The duo is legit. (Where was it all during January's Cotton Bowl, fellas?)

Time to sell:

Rutgers football. The team is an 0-2 mess. Construction on a stadium expansion is over-budget and delayed. The coach's contract is being scrutinized. The Legislature is calling for an investigation. The team is losing TV games left and right. And the natives are growing restless. The unofficial Rutgers motto is "Keep Choppin'." I hear choppin' alright. Timber.

Coastal property. It's far too risky in this "Inconvenient Truth" Era to own a house along the Gulf or Atlantic coasts. If only there were a place in this country immune to disasters. Bucks County, Pa.? Vermont, perhaps? New York State's Finger Lakes? The search continues...

If I were a Wall Street man, I'd short sell....

Wake Forest. I'm telling you right now. They're good, but they're not that good.

Ohio State. You think things were bad against USC? Here's an early prediction from The Crystal Ball: Ohio State faces a possible upset this Saturday against Troy.

Tampa Bay Rays. See Wake Forest.

Any publicly-traded insurance company. If A.I.G. can bite it, so can Travelers, Chubb, Citigroup, etc.