Upstaged by a Mechanical Shark.

Matt Ryan, you're great, man. As former BC Eagles, we're practically family (if you don't count the fact that I'm Asian and he's pretty much the furthest thing from Asian). But you've got a long, long, long way to go before you start earning that $70-mil plus, as well as the love of Georgia. The new Falcons QB is starting his first preseason game tonight, but you won't see it on television live in Metro Atlanta.

Instead, WATL, the flagship Falcons station, will be showing "Jaws: The Revenge," according to the AJC. (In case you're mixing up your Jaws movies, that's the one when the banana boat gets it.) Personally, I'd probably choose man-eating sharks over the NFL preseason myself. But, garn, the sequel to the sequel to the sequel of Jaws? Oh Matty. Good luck winning over that market.