Ted's first takes...

"What we learned..." is coming soon. In the meantime, let's play a little phrase association.

Notre Dame: Jimmy Clausen: no more mullet, no more turnovers.

Wake Forest: Like I said, short sell them.

Florida State: Thank god for the defense.

Georgia: No-show Moreno.

Alabama: Nick Saban is Darth Sidious.

Penn State: Impressive, but still padawan learners among the elite.

Oklahoma: The new "USC," sans the beaches and coolness.

Arkansas: Which franchise will Bobby Petrino ruin next?

East Carolina: Skip, time to make an appointment with Dr. Lou.

Florida: Overconfidence 101.

Michigan: Somebody stop them before they get any better.

Washington State: Somebody stop them before they get any worse.

Clemson: I smell Chick-fil-A. Again.

Digging a hole

TO: June Jones, Pete Carroll
FROM: Ian
CC: Bob Toledo, Mike Riley
DATE: Sept. 26
RE: Last night's games

In case you've forgotten, football games are four quarters long. Not one, not two. Four. All four of your teams' performances demonstrate a need for some reminders.

June, I'm worried about you. You've put all your eggs in the hands of a kid who last year was more worried about how big a mum he was going to have to buy than he was about getting embarrassed on national television. Don't worry, though. I'll still keep sipping your Kool Aid. Please, however, find a secondary over the next year. And your lines could use some bulk.

Pete, you know I can't lecture you too much. But now you're down to wishin' and hopin' for nine weeks of upsets. Gonna be watching a little more of the Big 12 and SEC than you had planned, I'm sure.

Here's the problem -- and this applies to Bob and Mike, as well. All four of your teams essentially played a half last night. Tulane and Oregon State each won the first half, while SMU and USC won your second halves. Thankfully for the home crowds, that first half provided a big enough edge.

The work plan: More tape for all of you, especially SMU and USC. You're not going to be able to rely on the halftime adjustments all year. Especially you, SMU -- holding Tulane to just a field goal in the second half? Impressive. Four touchdowns and a field goal in the first? Not so much.

Finally, a special note for you, June: To run an offense based on the pass, your receivers have to catch the balls thrown to them. Especially the ones that hit them in the hands. I'm sure you run plenty of drills, but throw in a few more. You've got an extra couple days this week to get ready for Central Florida, so good luck.

The Crystal Ball smells autumn...

What does Oregon State's upset of USC mean for the weekend? More upsets? Or do the entrenched powers dig in to make sure it doesn't happen to them?

Maryland at Clemson. A big one for Ted Kim-Boston College-ACC Atlantic Division purposes. Maryland is playing well, but Clemson always plays better when they rub that rock and run down that hill at home. Advantage Tigers.

North Carolina at Miami. Time to see how far North Carolina has come. Miami is brimming with confidence after their thrashing of Texas A&M. Speed on offense is the difference here. Miami wins.

Arkansas at Texas. Arkansas will put up a better fight than they did last week against Alabama, but the Razorbacks are no match for Texas, especially in Austin.

Ole Miss at Florida. Ole Miss will give Florida more than the Gators bargained for. But Florida is virtually unbeatable at home with Tim Tebow at quarterback.

Colorado vs. Florida State (in Jacksonville). Florida State's defense is stout and will get to Colorado QB Cody Hawkins all game long. The Seminoles have had problems moving the ball, but I think they will be able to move it enough to win.

TCU at Oklahoma. TCU is solid, but Oklahoma is on upset watch since the Horned Frogs beat the Sooners in Norman just a few years ago. I think TCU keeps it close, but Oklahoma pulls away in the second half.

Virginia Tech at Nebraska. Another measuring-stick game for two teams that are works-in-progress. Who wins the trench battle? That's the key. Nebraska has only played cupcakes, while Virginia Tech has already played some tough teams. If the Hokies get consistent quarterback play, they win handily.

Illinois at Penn State. Penn State wants to show that their blowout of newly resurgent Oregon State a few weeks ago was no fluke. The Crystal Ball foresees the Nittany Lions teeing off on Illini QB Juice Williams and unleashing their new Spread HD offense for 50-plus points.

Alabama at Georgia. Holy smackdown. Mid-game adjustments will be key. We all know that Georgia's offense is stupendously talented. That said, the Bulldog O' doesn't match up well with Alabama. Georgia's weakness is its young offensive line, while 'Bama's strength is its D. In many ways, Georgia is but a more talented version of Clemson: talent at the skill positions, but a young line. Tide Coach Nick Saban, I think, will blitz Georgia to kingdom come and have some surprises on offense. Can Georgia adjust? My sense is not in time. 'Bama pulls off the road upset.

Eager beavers spring a trap...

Congratulations are in order for Oregon State, which somehow accomplished Mission Impossible and knocked off God's team, USC...

There are game plans and there are game plans. And then there's the beefy stew that Beavers coach Mike Riley cooked up for the Trojans.

Riley mixed short passes and screens with a well-choreographed running attack. Excellent blocking by both the line and wide receivers; quick, almost draw-like handoffs from the quarterback; and plenty of cutbacks by speedy midget RB Jacquizz Rodgers helped the ground cause. All of it was executed well and, combined, achieved something I never thought possible: It neutralized USC's tremendous team speed and strength.

On defense, the Beavers kept two safeties deep to shield themselves against any bombs and forced USC QB Mark Sanchez to scramble out of the pocket constantly. The Oregon Ducks used a similar scheme to upset Sanchez and the Trojans last year in Eugene.

Leave it to the Beavers to rip off their archrivals for strategy and pull off the unlikeliest of wins. Let's hope the upset portends a great weekend of college football ahead. The Crystal Ball thinks it does. Predictions soon.

Why Detroit is losing money.

I've figured out why Toyota and other carmakers are beating the pants off of Detroit, and Ford, in particular. Loyalty.

In this new world of changing global markets, Detroit is the epitome of old school. It's where pickup trucks, auto unions and cigar-chomping executives still rule the roost. That is changing, but it's changing sooo very slowly. And, so, Ford and the others are being left behind.

Sounds abstract, I know. But translate Ford's lack of success to the football team in which Ford has deep ties, the Lions, and the stuck-in-the-mud mentality becomes so very obvious.

The Lions finally (finally!), after seven years of suffering, have fired team president Matt Millen. Nothing against Mr. Millen himself, but in what other business would such futility be rewarded with such continuity?

Under Mr. Millen's seven-year stewardship, the Lions averaged just over four wins a season. That's worse than anybody over that period, even the woeful Raiders. Mr. Millen's first round draft picks since 2002 went like this: QB Joey Harrington, WR Charles Rogers, WR Roy Williams, WR Mike Williams, LB Ernie Sims, WR Calvin Johnson, T Gosder Cherilus. Think about that list... C.J. is a fantasy stud, yes. But four first-round wideouts since 2003? What kind of buffoonery is that? Exactly what kind of offense did Mr. Millen have in mind? A no-running-back, six-wide-out bomb fest?

It's clear to me that Harrington's failure to pan out really hurt the Lions. If all went according to plan, ol' Joseph would have been reaching his prime right about now and the Lions, at the very least, would be mediocre instead of really bad. But franchises live and die by who they draft and the Lions should have seen this coming a long time ago.

I used to be of the mind that loyalty is everything in sports. Cal Ripken belongs in Baltimore, Brett Favre in Green Bay, M.J. in Chicago. Certain exceptional cases will still resonate like that. But like it or not, we have entered a new time and place. Free agency. Eat or be eaten. Multi-million dollar contracts. Loyalty? Save it for something else. In pro sports, loyalty is just an excuse for failing to act.

Buy me, sell me...

If only the Fed would bail out West Virginia, Rutgers, Arkansas and Washington from total collapse. Alas...

Time to buy:

Trips to the Downtown Athletic Club if you're USC. The Crystal Ball foresees at least two USC Trojans being invited to the Heisman Trophy ceremony later this year: WR Joe McKnight and QB Mark Sanchez. If sports inertia continues, these two will combine for gazillions of touchdowns before December rolls around.

West Virginia. They are in the toilet at 1-2, I know. But they are better than they've been playing. And, aside from a tough home test against Auburn, it's downhill sledding from here. The Crystal Ball thinks Pat White and the boys will get it going soon.

The Triple Option offense. Georgia Tech is using it to great effect in the ACC. The Dolphins used a version of it to surprise the Patriots. Maybe the days of the single wing attack aren't dead after all.

Time to sell:

Patriot defense. I didn't mind the sputtering play of Patriots QB Matt Cassel as much as I did the Dolphins ripping of the Pat D. If you can't stop the Dolphins from putting up 38 on you, the chances for a good season are pretty much slim to none.

The Carrier Dome. Once feared by visitors, the indoor House of Pain for the Syracuse Orange is but a shadow of its former self. When packed, it's the loudest place to play in college football. But with the 'Cuse struggling, the domed stadium these days resembles a YMCA on a Tuesday night.

Connecticut. If only the Huskie football team could freeze time. They're undefeated at 4-0. But the schedule will soon toughen. No more Baylors and Virginias to beat up on. Enjoy your time in the "other votes," fellas. The Crystal Ball senses a bowl in Charlotte.

If I were a Wall Street man, I would short sell...

Cowboys QB Tony Romo. He's an absolute stud, I know. But I get the sense the magic is wearing off a little. Yes, his offensive line is like the Great Wall and he's still eerily calm in the pocket most times. But teams are starting to figure him out. The number of boneheaded plays is on the rise and he always seems pressured to get Terrell Owens the ball. I think it all makes for trouble ahead.

I think I'm gonna squeal...

Non Football Thought:

I wanted to take a moment to recognize today's high definition release of The Godfather Trilogy. Fully restored print. Pristine 1080-progressive resolution. Lossless Dolby TrueHD sound. Original 1.78:1 aspect ratio.

(moment of silence)

To say that today is an exciting day in the world of Ted Kim would be an understatement.