Fantasy Fakeout...

A special thanks is in order to the apparently-not-injured Chargers RB LaDanian Tomlinson. After a week of repeating the phrase, "I don't know how much I'm going to play," in the lead up to Monday's Jets game, LT proceeds to score two touchdowns and smile as though he's the paragon of health and dentistry.

LT has been nothing short of maddening for fantasy football owners this season. In week one, he runs well but scores no touchdowns. In week two, he only rushes for 26 yards and is benched because of a mysterious toe injury. He is replaced by backup burner Darren Sproles, who proceeds to rush for a gazillion yards and, like, six scores. So, here comes week three and LT keeps everyone guessing, making it seem as though one of his legs is border-line ready to be amputated. Is he going to play? Is it going to be Sproles? Will they split time?

Well, the total loser that I am, I picked Sproles and look what happens... Listen, LT, I love your Chunky Soup commercials and all but do me a favor next time: It's called 'yes' or 'no.'

Tube review

I've told you what to watch for the past few weeks. Now I'll start to Monday morning quarterback myself. So, the Week 4 review...

Worst game everybody watched: The utter collapse of anything resembling a Tennessee offense at the hands of Florida. And, for that matter, defense. Still makes me wonder what the guys at CBS are thinking when they skip over games like LSU-Auburn. (I'm probably wrong here, but wouldn't you think they have some sort of ability to switch games around, considering they do the SEC?) Close runner-up, by the way, is the Miami drubbing of Texas A&M. I know the Aggies are Big 12, but does that mean we have to waste ABC airtime?

Best game nobody saw: The Utah-Air Force Mountain West Conference matchup on Versus. This network has made enormous strides in its game coverage. I actually finding myself hoping that they start airing more than one game a week. (Which they'll start doing for Week 6.)

Totally nailed it:
East Carolina-NC State: An overtime win for the Wolfpack. Fun game to watch, but it doesn't mean that North Carolina State has arrived football-wise.
Wyoming-BYU: Don't have The Mountain, but agree with Ted's assessment that BYU is a tad overrated, despite their win.
LSU-Auburn: It was a slugfest, and certainly had me yelling for both teams. But Auburn's going to have to figure out how to score points to break even in the SEC.
Alabama-Arkansas: This game was over before the opening whistle, but something to watch in the morning.

I offer my sincere apologies:
Kansas State-Louisville: Sure, a certain reporter friend's team won. But...the Colorado overtime win over West Virginia was by far the best midweek game.
Baylor-UConn: The Bears made it a close one, but couldn't quite find a way to win.
Iowa-Pitt: Not the most exciting teams, but again a close game.
Central Florida-BC: Ted's alma mater finds an offense, defense.
Notre Dame-Michigan State: For the first time in four years (something like that) the home team wins. It's really hard to watch the Irish any more.
Wake Forest-Florida State: Sure, no touchdowns (and Bobby B. is going to have to figure that one out or make retirement plans), but I was glued to the TV most of the game. Should have mentioned it in the list to watch.

Footballish thoughts: A man can dream

A few things I'd love to see:

BCS conference realignment. I know, I know: tradition, blah blah blah. But the Pac 10, Big 10 [11] and Big East need to find a couple extra teams and play a conference championship. Suggestions: Fresno State and Boise State to the Pac 10; Notre Dame to the Big 10; Army, Navy, Florida Atlantic and Troy to the Big East. The other conferences can shake things up from there.

Sumo match between Mark Mangino and a healthy Charlie Weis. Would get better ratings than a Kansas-Notre Dame game.

Fewer bowl games. On the chopping block: the International Bowl, the Texas Bowl (they draw the Big 12's NUMBER 8 team!?!), the newly formed EagleBank [Congressional] Bowl (Navy vs. the ACC No. 9). I'm sorry, but when you're digging down to a conference's dregs, they're really not bowl-worthy.

Rank This, Sept. 22.

New rankings are out, with little movement at the top. A few things to note.

How in the world has Clemson rebounded so quickly? A little more than three weeks since getting blown out by Alabama on national television, the Tigers are back to No. 20 in the AP poll and No. 19 in the coaches poll. I swear, somebody somewhere in some position of power must really like Clemson. Since losing to Alabama, the Tigers have beaten a very mediocre NC State team and creampuffs The Citadel and South Carolina State. Puleese. Let's put them in the Chick fil a Bowl and be done with it.

Kudos to voters for ranking Boise State, Vanderbilt and TCU --- all deserving teams. I'm not saying they're all going to stay ranked, but they deserve to be right now. I'm also glad that Auburn was not penalized too harshly for losing at home to a very tough LSU team. Auburn dropped to No. 15 from No. 10.

I'd say watch out for Oklahoma State. The Cowboys are 3-0 and have cultivated a potent offensive attack. What's more, with Troy and Texas A&M up next, Okie State could be 5-0 by the time they travel to Columbia for a showdown with Missouri on Oct. 11.

Connecticut is 4-0 and receiving votes in both polls. But I fear they may have won their last game for a while. Upcoming are games against Louisville, North Carolina, West Virginia and Cincinnati.

Woe be to Georgia and that gulag of a schedule. Who knows how long their No. 3 ranking will hold? Games loom against Alabama, Tennessee, LSU, Florida and Auburn. Even the supposed "creampuffs" in that stretch, Vanderbilt, Kentucky and Georgia Tech, all are solid.

My own great depression...

How does that old "ABC Wide World of Sports" intro go? "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat..." The phrase "agony of defeat," of course, was punctuated by that now infamous footage of some poor ski jumper biting it in a whirlwind of flailing limbs and debris. That's pretty much the feeling of every football fan in New England right now.

So here I sit, at the end of the day, upset and confused and downright angry about the Patriots' 38-13 loss to the Dolphins.

You could make the case that I have nothing to complain about... Four Patriot Super Bowls in seven years; witness to the Red Sox's breaking of the Curse of the Bambino and another World Series on top of that; a Celtics' championship; a Boston College men's hockey championship and a college football team ranked as high as No. 2 last year.

But, as a sports fan who has tasted the sweet cup of success, let me tell you what's even more bitter than losing: Losing after you've had a sustained run of success. Trust me when I tell you, there's nothing more bitter than seeing your once unbeatable team, one that had won 21 regular season games in a row, get blown out at home by the NFL's worst team.

I'm not one to believe in superstition. But I think Tom Brady's injury has cosmic meaning. Just as his rise as the Patriots QB heralded an unprecedented era of success for New England sports, I think his fall will presage exactly the opposite. The karma is gone. Brady's backup Matt Cassell is a symbol of the old, pre-Bledsoe days. He's a nobody, a clipboard holder. And he's now leading this team, a flimsy answer for a 16-game bar exam.

Maybe the Patriots will turn it around. Maybe this is the turning point that propels the Pats to another one of those magical seasons. I don't think so. I think the salad days are over and that the Pats' loss was only the beginning to a long, long winter of discontent.

What we learned: Addendum...

Overrated: Texas Tech, South Florida, Wisconsin, Fresno State, Connecticut, BYU

Underrated: Wake Forest Defense, Michigan State, Tulsa

Fine Nine: USC, Oklahoma, Florida, Georgia, LSU, Texas, Alabama, Penn State, Missouri

What we learned in high def...

Of the multitude of sportscasters/analysts out there, I'd put ESPN's Chris Spielman among the worst. He uses so much football jargon that it sounds like he's calling out military coordinates. The average person, Chris, doesn't know what a SAM linebacker, a flag-in route, a zone read or a stunt are. Still, you use these words repeatedly and in tandem with each other. No one but Peyton Manning knows what you're saying, man.

Following Mr. Spielman is ESPNU's Larry Coker. The former Miami coach brings almost no insight to the table. He might as well be your great grandfather hollering at the television. "Arrgh. Shoulda run the ball there. Arrgh." Thanks Larry. Pearls of wisdom.

Thoughts from Saturday:

Get your shots in on the Buckeyes now. Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor is going to be unstoppable in about 12-15 games. He is so strong and his strides so long that he makes everyone else look like they are stuck in the mud. It reminds me of when Reggie Bush was running the ball at USC. With a little game experience and some more muscle on that lanky frame, watch out.

Florida State is a tale of two teams. The offense is sooooo very pathetic. At home against Wake Forest, the Seminoles turned the ball over seven times and looked like a high school unit. The defense, on the other hand, can hang with any offense in the country: Florida, Missouri, Oklahoma. The question is this: Will the offense come around soon enough? My answer is no.

I'll say it again: Missouri needs to shore up its defense if it wants to compete with the elite. QB Chase Daniel also needs to find targets other than WR Jeremy Maclin. It took over 400 passing yards from Daniel for Mizzou to overcome Buffalo (Buffalo!) in the second half.

Arizona State gets a gold star for hanging in there against Georgia. The Sun Devils didn't win, but, as Jake pointed out earlier, Georgia had to expend quite a bit of energy in the victory. I thought the game's key play was when the Georgia offense converted a long third down from inside its 10 yard line in the first half.

LSU will not repeat as national champions, not with that offense. A number of teams have defenses that are at least equal to LSUs, but much better offenses: Florida, Georgia, USC, Texas and Oklahoma, to name a few.

The ACC is stacked with teams that are good but not great: North Carolina, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, Boston College, Miami, Florida State, Wake Forest, Clemson, Maryland. It's like a poor-man's SEC.

I wouldn't say that Brigham Young is doing it with smoke and mirrors, but I don't foresee them getting through their conference schedule unscathed. Yes, the Cougars beat Wyoming 44-0 at home Saturday. But the score sounds more impressive than the game really was as BYU had the help of six Wyoming turnovers. The Cougars have to play better if they want to beat TCU, Utah and Air Force.

Penn State is the Big Ten's best team. I have yet to see any team come close to stopping Penn State's new hybrid spread offense. The defense ain't bad either.

Hats off to Fresno State. They play anyone, anywhere and at anytime. On Saturday they traveled to the Rust Belt to take on Toledo in a night ESPNU game (a scrappy double OT win). The Toledo game came one week after their big nationally televised home glamour game against Wisconsin.

Crystal Ball rewind... A tough week for the Crystal Ball. My Troy-upsetting-Ohio-State scenario didn't play out, Florida State lost to Wake Forest and SMU didn't show any signs of offensive improvement. Bright spots: The Crystal Ball called Ball State's upset of Indiana, LSU's win and Miam's victory over Texas A&M.